A few questions about the formation of the self(person/whatever)!

A chain of events yesterday(22nd April) has had me thinking on lines which I had done some previous thinking but I guess since it was crystallized yesterday or I just think that because I was fascinated enough by it to blog(which takes a lot of effort from my lazy being). I guess much great minds then mine have dwelt on the subject and have writtten much greater things but I would like to have my say too for all it is worth.

I had a day yesterday when I met friends from Pagalguy after the results debacle and there was talk about the results and so on. And at that moment of time my reactions were perfectly normal and I would say they were pretty good actually. I was the same old casual person, a bit hopeful, a bit down but pretty much ok with life.

As I look at it even now I think that is what my reaction to this whole phase is.

However as I was travelling back by the bus after a lot of walking and an unsuccessful time with autowallahs who didn't want to come in the direction in which I had to go. As I was standing in the bus I was thinking if the reaction I had was the one which is truly me.

I think I know myself pretty well but yesterday I was left to ponder who is it that I know. I guess I rarely have let my instincts have a full go so I don't know who I really am. But then again what if my very instinct is to think. I guess it is something which is appreciated by most people but I am not that way because of people, it is basically the way that I am.

However the struggle to identify if the self on display and the self that you know is the same is not of the same magnitude as the one to figure out if the present self is the true self. I guess it would be even more difficult in case a person with an almost uniform self(by uniform I mean here someone whose private and public personalities don't differ much). The question which I guess would be the sum of all my doubts would be the one which has been put as 'what do children do if there is absolutely no contact with human society?' Would they still be exhibiting behaviourial tendencies of the parents? I guess atleast the walking posture could be similar at some point of time.

So am I back to making the cliched statement that I am a total of loads of things which went into my making: my family, education(yeah right!), books(a major part), faith and ofcourse friends! But then again the way choose friends when we are kids now fascinates me. How did I choose a particular set of friends in my 5th/6th class? I probably could have chosen anyone but even at that early stage we chose each other without any prompting and that has in a major way shaped me.

I guess if we think about these questions we will have some interesting answers.

However towards the end of my post I will again have to make mention of the fact that each person is moulded in a different way and if you care to reflect on the process you find it truly beautiful!